1.8.08

THE INFANCY OF BILLIOUS GNOOK, EPISODE III: THE RESURRECTION OF THE APPETITE

The Incident of the Pedialyte Popsicles was later published in the records under the "Accidents" log.  There was simply no possibility that it could be otherwise.  An infant, his little brain constricted by the very beginning stages of Piaget's Development, was categorically incapable of ingesting each of the thirty-two Pedialyte Popsicles with purposeful intent to induce radical electrolyte imbalance and seizure.  Surely Billious was taken with a sudden euphoria, the effects of the medicines which were being so assiduously applied, and the appetite for food and for life was restored and revived like an electrical charge.  The Incident of the Pedialyte Popsicles signified, according to the records, a renewed vigor - a quashing of the melancholia with which Billious was so terribly afflicted. 
It was the cook who discovered Billious slumped opposite the icebox in the Room of Refrigerated Things.  Billious was slumped beneath the hanging racks of meat.  The cook screamed when she saw the face between the lamb loins, the cook thought the crimson stains sloppily lining the lips and dripping down the chin and neck to be the child's own Life-Juice.  Billious' eyes were loosely closed, his heavy head pendulous on the neck's string (so often we forget that the head of an infant is grotesquely and disproportionately large by comparison to other species of head.)  The slate floor of the Room of Refrigerated Things was littered carelessly with naked Popsicle sticks and their corresponding plastics, the slate floor reflected the tableau - the unconscious infant in his lace bonnet, the detritus of the Pedialyte Popsicles, the swinging racks of meat, the icebox - in sticky crimson pools.  

The cook screamed and lapsed into silence.

 The cook screamed again, and then ran from the Room of Refrigerated Things, and returned shortly with a white linen cloth to  cover the corpse.  When it was ascertained that Billious was not quite dead, the cook ran from the Room of Refrigerated Things and returned shortly with Smelling Salts to revive the not-quite corpse.  Once revived, Billious emitted a quiet gurgling utterance, which in the records is documented as an utterance of "affirmation - a celebratory affirmation of Life and of exquisite and unique nuance." 

No comments: