((IF (IT))

There fore (if) what came
to me is true is what I
deserved – I deserved (it)

What came to me
wicked thing
sloughed ((off(of))
the wicked roof-thing
a growth a growing
sucked thumb in
(the) shadow (of)
recessed space
laughed a little and




rooms to litter 
paper walls paper 
the places where 
your trace still 
flickers a little

“in which I pushed 
my grandfather from a six storey building.” 

and what do you 
what do you think of me what do you think
of me now? what do you think of 
me now? what do you think
of me now? 

“in which I woke up 
and you were gone.”

held in the acanthus leaf 
the honeysuckle 
the cornucopia 
the rosette and the lyre 
low, set 
against the wall in an alcove
with only one good side 
one good side exposed
curved and 
sweeping headboard
footboard rosewood 
mahogany ebony
gilt stenciling in ormalu (brass they used 
to imitate gold) 

“in which I pulled
a wooden stake from my sternum, dressed in white.”

In 1786 they slept in beds of brass they used 
to imitate gold in which they never slept they 
never slept
never sleeping in the place with the sofa
in which once I think I heard 
in which I heard 
your voice but 



eighty eight eight one thousand cut tiles cut tile wrought with gold flecked flocked in gold painted threads and strands, the filaments from thread a rug from gold, the torso painted into the arc of a bridge concave caved-in bee-stung vague and luminous waking a few feet of tendrils in long-spine contortion of a bridge, grace and light and the fluttering of vivid threads the jaw hollow, bee-stung and the luminosity of pallor chinawhite consumptive contorted in pain or pleasure wallpaper painted vertebrae eight hundred eighty eight wet wax boughs tendriled little lights flocked in gold in his spine I saw the ornament of a bridge. 



That a horse can be thrown to water
a horse well riveted
well planked
and buoyant
rock back and forth and up and down and
sit in the lap of the lake
eating two people – you
and me.

(I am watching the wedding from a safe distance I am
ruining my complexion with cigarettes)

Dragged the horse
the horse to water and made him
dragged him there
with the hem of my dress
the length of my leg, I dragged him there
drank him.

The axiom, the angle in flight
and briefly the hovering

(is there anything so beautiful as that
which is caught, and, netted,
goes limp?)

half for the fear, half for when I am
no longer afraid
And to show for it, a drowned horse
two people floating in the lap
of the lake, netted
the ten years body
in the bathtub
ten years wasted, ruined
she ate and ate and ate.



often I cannot feel the tips of my fingers and more often
I cannot walk straight or see very well, I saw

the strangest thing
on television the other day. Two men
were holding a fish from either end and
they were both pulling on the fish until it split
apart, We look at each other

as if other people
as if other people are watching but
people are watching they are actually, I’m feeling

much better now
I am not going to pretend
that I am not angry, Oh wait

COPS is on that guy is bleeding
and that guy is writhing in the middle
of the street
covered in silver metallic paint
something to do with PCP, with cathedrals

it is difficult
to breathe it is
the incense.

No, I was
the guy covered with metallic paint was huffing
the paint fumes and
the guy
who is bleeding was stabbed by the metallic paint guy’s
wife Or girlfriend
I can’t tell exactly they are both screaming
so loudly why
isn’t there an ambulance for the bleeding guy, Oh wait
here comes one



Billious knew. Billious knew the precise reason that this Teddy Graham was set upon the plate, upon the doily. The Taking of the Teddy Graham was a consummate act, sanctified, inexorable.

Mother cooed. “Billious, you might refuse to take of food. But I shall insist that you take of your medicines. We have seen your condition improve significantly with the diligent application of the medicines.”

Teddy Graham lay alone on its bed, its Graham Eyes vacant and wide, its open-armed gesture imploring. “Come, Billious,” the Teddy Graham spoke unto him in a hushed voice that had many tongues, “Take and eat of my flesh. In the taking of my flesh you shall find the favour of God.”

“I want no such favour.” Billious retorted sharply, without hesitation, “The madman spake unto the crowd of such a God - God is dead, and we have killed him. We have murdered him.” Billious pushed the plate aside in disgust.

“Billious, Billious…” Teddy Graham whispered in a voice that had many tongues, “take and eat of my flesh, place your tongue against the roof of your palate and cradle me therein. I shall dissolve in your blood and ignite your form with light. Your blood shall be luminous with stars. Your blood shall be electric, your blood shall be like fire, shall be illumed with the fire of God. You shall feel God in your veins, and then you shall know no unhappiness.”

“Such is odious and false, and I do not wish to be cured of this malaise. This malaise is an indication, a symptom, of the malaise which envelops me.” Billious laid his forearm across the vinyl surface of his booster table tray. He rested his head on his forearm, his nose pressed against the vinyl surface of his booster tray. He felt his breath moist on the vinyl, it plastered his face with warm, wet residue which he noticed was not at all like the baby’s breath of floral bouquets, not at all like those dry, powdery white orbs.

“God grant me deliverance from the vicissitudes of this hell,” Billious whispered into the blanket of his own breath.

Teddy was swift with his rebuttal, Teddy had heard.

“You have just spoken some nonsense of a madman and proclaimed God dead and murdered by the very hands of man. Do you then expect a vapour? Why do you now seek him?”

Billious did not respond, he swam silently in the dark, warm blanket of his own breath.