6.7.10

"WHERE'S THE PORK!!!!" - GORDON RAMSAY



today i went for a long run on the path that meanders around my parent's neighborhood, and on the return journey i was attacked by a really large cat. the cat 'jettisoned' from a 1 1/2 story window on the facade of a remote house where there are living a lot of hasidic jews. the circumstances surrounding the house are very mysterious to me. the house itself seems to be a replica of the texas chainsaw massacre house, and is surrounded by several derelict shacks that seem 'condemned.' also littering the premises are many large rusting farming devices. and a ton of hasidic jews live there. i don't know if it is one family or some sort of sect but holy shit there's a lot of hasidic jews in this fucking house. they don't seem to mind the shattered windows.

anyhoo.

i was really perplexed for a moment as to the species of this creature which catapulted into my 'trajectory'. it was very large and very white. i was fairly certain for a moment that it was a small goat. it landed directly in my path and emitted a very aggressive hissing sound. at that point i decided it was a cat. "CAT." that was what i said to myself, audibly, when i made this decision. i stopped, the cat stopped. we looked at one another. the cat hissed. i attempted to pass. the cat would not let me pass. "this is a very bizarre exchange," i thought. then the cat lurched at my calves. i started to run, or rather, i sprinted. the cat trailed me, kind of loping, lumbering alongside. i had the feeling that the cat was mocking me, loping like that, at a pace which must be very easy for a cat to maintain. the cat loped, hissing, until i reached the border of my gated neighborhood. i stopped and stared at it from the safe side of the gate, breathing laboriously, kind of bent, i think i was almost crying. the cat and i looked at one another again, then the cat turned around, and i turned around, and i wondered if being attacked and chased by a very large albino cat was some sort of sign. made me think about being an atheist, whether being an atheist is the right thing. the greek myth where europa is abducted and taken to sea by a white bull, and this white bull is zeus - i thought of that, i wondered whether the albino cat from the hasidic jew house was actually ______. i am still thinking about it. i want to stop thinking about it.

****

today a friend wrote about a dream he had about me:

For some reason there was a gathering of men who were interested in you. All these men were conferring. Honestly, it felt like some kind of Constitutional convention. There were perhaps six of them and the talking happened in little bits like you would imagine discussions of royal succession happen after a death. However, there wasn't any sense of death in the dream.
The most interesting thing was I came across you and a man I couldn't quite see in a hot tub and you were a hermaphrodite. You looked very comfortable, legs open.

*****

watching the Tour de France on television. i like the men, the cadence of their legs. the cyclist’s coiled body. the faces are all the same, angles and shadows and sharp hills. the cyclists on the trail near my house, i call them sharks.

*****

JESSE SELDESS does things i like. i like the music of his poems. he moved away to germany. watching this makes me misty for chicago.

*****

i am making a 'colors text thing'. i attempted to pirate the pantone colors list to no avail. that shit is CLAZZIFIED INFOZ apparently. i ended up using a list of crayola crayon colors, it is a charming list. here:
Apricot, Gold, Orange, Silver, 
Bittersweet, Gray, Orange, Red, Spring Green, 
Black, Green, Orange Yellow, Tan, 
Blue, Green Blue, Orchid, Thistle, 
Blue Green, Green Yellow, Periwinkle, Turquoise Blue, 
Blue Violet, Lemon Yellow, Pine Green, Violet, 
Brick Red, Magenta, Prussian Blue, Violet Blue, 
Brown, Mahogany, Red, Violet Red, 
Burnt Sienna, Maize, Red Orange, White, 
Carnation Pink, Maroon, Red Violet, Yellow, 
Cornflower, Melon, Salmon, Yellow Green, 
Flesh, Olive Green, Sea Green, Yellow Orange Aquamarine, Copper, Lavender, Raw Sienna, 
Blue Gray, Forest Green, Mulberry, Raw Umber, 
Burnt Orange, Goldenrod, Navy blue, Sepia, 
Cadet Blue, Indian Red, Plum, Sky Blue Chartreuse, Ultra Blue, Ultra Orange, Ultra Red, 
Hot Magenta, Ultra Green, Ultra Pink, Ultra Yellow,
Atomic Tangerine, Hot Magenta, Outrageous Orange, Shocking Pink, 
Blizzard Blue, Laser Lemon, Screamin’ Green, Wild Watermelon Electric Lime, Purple Pizzazz, Razzle Dazzle Rose, Unmellow Yellow, 
Magic Mint, Radical Red, Sunglow, Neon Carrot, Green Blue, Cerulean, 
Orange Red, Vivid Tangerine, 
Orange Yellow, Jungle Green, 
Violet Blue, Fuchsia, 
Maize, Dandelion, 
Lemon Yellow, 
Blue Gray, Royal Purple, 
Raw Umber, Wild Strawberry Asparagus, Macaroni and Cheese, Razzmatazz, Timber Wolf, Cerise, Mauvelous, Robin's Egg Blue, Tropical Rain Forest, Denim, 
Pacific Blue, Shamrock, Tumbleweed, Granny Smith Apple, Purple Mountain's Majesty, Tickle Me Pink, Wisteria, Almond, Canary, Fern, Pink Flamingo, 
Antique Brass, Caribbean Green, Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown, Purple Heart, 
Banana Mania, Cotton Candy, Manatee, Shadow, 
Beaver, Cranberry, Mountain Meadow, Sunset Orange, 
Blue Bell, Desert Sand, Outer Space, Torch Red, 
Brink Pink, Eggplant, Pig Pink, Vivid Violet, Inch Worm, Jazzberry Jam, Mango Tango, Wild Blue Yonder, Blizzard Blue, Magic Mint, Mulberry.
These colors are presented chronologically, as they appeared in the crayons over the years. I like that they become more about 'signage' and 'semiotics' and objects-as-constituents-for-colors as culture grows more sign-based. i want to place this list in Wittgenstein's dead little paw and see if he rolls over. eventually this list of colors will undergo the same process that the Martha Stewart for K-Mart colors underwent: transduction into music a la Scriabin's theory of color and tone. but i also like the idea of the text alone, of playing with the text a little bit and letting it morph into a huge phantasmagoric monster.
FUZZY SHADOWBEAVER MANATEE LASERMAIZE, ASPARAGUS GRANNYSHAM TUMBLESMITH, RAZZLEWUZZY CARROTWOLF, NEON CHEESE EGG MAJESTYPIG.
a person could wring some really great band names out of this list. MAJESTYPIG seems pretty epic and good for like a GWAR cover band. CARROTWOLF could be 16 year old norwegian transplants in toledo who work at chipotle and want to sound like 'agoraphobic nosebleed meets the new radicals' but with 'more lyrics about fucking' and 'hats.'

*****

i read an essay by Christian Bök about his cyborg opera. seems like a an übermensch, that man. his reading of The Ursonate destroys me. i read another essay about the performance of poetry by Charles Bernstein. Charles Bernstein is an inimitable intellect and i must remember him as such. I read another essay on the reading of poetry by Jacques Roubaud, he suggests experimenting with reading metrical, rhyming verse as prose. i like this idea. here is John Donne's The Flea, i have reformatted it into prose, this is how i would perform it:
Mark but this, flea: and mark in this how little that which thou deniest me is. It suck'd. Me, first and now. Sucks, thee and in. This, flea, our two bloods mingled. Be thou know'st that this cannot be, said, "a sin." Nor shame nor loss. Of maidenhead -yet this enjoys - before it. Woo! And pampered, swells with one blood. Made of two. And this, alas, is more than we would? "Do."


O stay three! Lives in one flea (spare). where? We almost - yea more than married -are this flea. Is (you and I and) this our marriage bed? And marriage temple is. Though parents grudge: "and you! -- we're met," and cloister'd in these. Living walls of jet. Though use make you apt. To kill me, let not to that. Self-murder added be (and sacrilege) three sins in killing: three.

Cruel! And sudden hast thou. Since, purpled, thy nail in blood. Of innocence wherein? Could this, flea, guilty be? Except in that. Drop which it suck'd. From thee yet thou triumph'st. And say'st, "that thou find'st not thyself nor me." The weaker now, 'tis true, then learn how false. Fears be just so. Much honour when thou yield'st, to me will waste. As this, Flea's: death took life from thee.

That was fun.
Crispin Glover is on the television, throwing things.

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